Big Change

These past two weeks have been an overload of emotions, work and travel. When Brian got the job in Savannah Georgia we thought it was best that me and the boys stay in Juneau. We prayed to know what the Lord wanted us to do and felt that this was the right choice. Noah's school is amazing and we figured Brian could get a job back in Juneau in about a year. It didn't make sense to move all our stuff and our bodies just for a year.
Brian left Juneau a day after Thanksgiving. He missed Christmas, our anniversary, New Years and his Birthday with the family. The boys and I were missing. I got a lot of help from friends and members of the ward and my crazy life became the new normal.
The only way we could make this "two mortgages" idea work was that I watch a couple kids at the house. My income would cover his costs. All my prospects and current clients just seemed to slip through my fingers. I had set up daycare with 8 different families and they all didn't work out. When my current family I was serving messaged me to let me know they were accepted into a traditional daycare center I fell to my knees and cried.  I now have to move.  This is not what I wanted. I turned and asked Noah how he felt about moving.  "Noah, you will leave all your friends.  You won't be going to your amazing school any more. Do you want to move." His response "mom, I love dad more than school."
So it was Noah's choice. And he knows it. And he will tell you that. It wasn't my choice. But I couldnt deny the boys their father just because I LOVE Juneau and all my friends.  So, before Christmas we put the house on the market.  It took a week to get the the house looking nice. I sold a lot of toys, our Christmas tree and other household stuff to make the house look less lived in. And then the showings happened. It took at least 3 hours to make the house clean enough to show. I would bake cookies for them so the house would smell inviting. But after countless showings and two open houses after a month the house didn't get a reasonable offer.
Well, a mortgage payment is coming up and even if we did get an offer it would be another month before the house sold. So Brian and I decided to rent. I was talking to one of my friends about this and she told me that she actually manages many homes and would be happy to be our property manager. What a blessing.  After one day of having the house listed for rent on criageslist we had a  family interested. i think that if I saw 100 applicants I couldn't find a better family.
But still after all this planning, preparing and obvious blessings I am not happy about the move.  I struggle with the desire to stay in a place where I know I was called and move to a place that just happens to be where my husband is.
But I still press on. My parents help us out with tickets for me and the boys to fly out in two weeks. The cost of moving all our stuff is so high that selling and buying new is the more reasonable solution. The days go by so quickly. Every day is filled with selling, preparing, packing, cleaning and planning. And I am dreading moving day.